Momentary Glances of Regret

Why can’t I not look your way?  It has been over two years–still the memory has yet to fade.  The sight of you brings longings of yesterday, but I can’t turn back the hand of time.

Still, I regret my sudden departure.

I take the momentary glance of regret and hold it near.

One day though, I will let go of you and move on.

How will this happen?  It will take place as I let go completely of the sense of disappointment of my shortcomings.

When will this happen?  It will be the day I drive by and not turn my head your way–it will be then when I know I have moved on toward forgiveness of myself.


Love and Truth Wins

It was a discouraging season of events.  I diligently worked on the modification project, yet was not seeing the results of such an investment of time.  Disillusioned and discouraged, I made my way to my office, AKA prayer closet, and poured out my frustrations into the air,

“Why God, why?  I have prayed for him for years, but nothing.”

I changed our demographics, removed contacts from our social network, and even modified every anticipated negative altercation before its occurrence in hopes of lasting change.  But, little resulted from such effort, and I was frustrated.

It was a whisper, barely audible to the heart, “But, Josie, your sins are so much easier to hide.”


It was true.  I was polished and in pristine Christian condition.  He, on the other hand, was obviously tainted and tarnished in sin.

Truth is, we both were.

I had deceived myself into believing I was good because my outside was modified in such a way I appeared okay.

Actually, I sin everyday.  Yes, pretty much every single day.  So far, twice.  Wait, that’s a lie, but only a little one, so does that count as a 1/2 a sin if it’s only a little deceit?

Makes me wonder, if we are so easily deceived to our own sins, if the partial blame is that sins that are no longer labeled sins anymore.  Confusing, when obvious sins have been reworded as:



Bad choices

In no particular order, sins of this category include:

Adulterous encounters 

Premarital sexual encounters

Homosexual encounters

The BIG THREE that seem to be no big deal nowadays.

Truth be told, I have committed ALL THREE.  Yes, you read it correctly–ALL THREE.

And all three were more than:

Just an error on my part

a bad choice

a mistake

They were all SINS I committed.  I am not proud of fact.  Yet, I am FORGIVEN for these, and the countless others I commit until my final breath.

What saddens me is our culture is dismissing the fact that there is even a problem here.

I am told if I focus on love, then all is good.

And, in the Christian community, there seems to be a sense that we should focus on love.  And, I agree about loving others.  We are in no way to throw stones at sinners, but, in the same respect, if I only focus on love, without sharing the truth, then I am doing a disservice as a loving Christian.

Because, love, without truth, doesn’t win.  

And, I love you too much not to speak truth.

Our God is slow to anger, and abounding in love.  He does not want any to perish, but all to come to repentance.


I Praise You in this Sunshine

The sun beats down on me as I breathe in the morning air.  Sunshine has eluded me for some time now.  Its warmth no longer  felt.  Replaced by the darkness that creeped in unannounced and unwanted stealing the light from every angle–

Slowly eclipsing my hope.

Until today.

I felt depression dissipate.

I can feel again without the accompanying pain inside.

I will never cease to praise You in the storm of sadness, but oh, when sunshine returns, I cannot help but shout for joy to my Jesus!