What if I’m Only a Two-Talent Christian?

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For as long as I can remember, I desired to be big.  Not in frame, but in stature.

I wanted to do something extra special with my life.  When I fell hard for Jesus, I transferred this desire to His mission.  Maybe fueled by the fact I felt called to grandiose adventures, I thought grandeur was included.

The first time I led a bible study, a lady walked up afterward and called me a ‘mini Beth Moore’.  Compliments reeled in weekly, and I felt the pace of my desire catapulted by each and every accolade.

Then, something, actually, some things happened.  The open-wide doors of opportunity suddenly shut.  Hard. Growing ministries were handed off to walk in a new direction I believed God called me.  In one quick swoop of the hinge, I became a behind-the-scenes girl.

I no longer spoke in public.  I ministered in the trenches with messy children with sticky fingerprints—to the least of these.

For a while I felt punished.  Until one day, with tears running without abandon, a friend suggested I was being pruned, not punished.  Maybe.  Still, it hurt.

But, as time often does, I began to heal from this former hurt.  And the passion to speak in larger venues lessened to a small spark hardly capable of starting a fire.  Years went by and contentment entered in.  Passion transferred.

Until one day, unexpectedly, a closed door opened a crack.  A peek of light appeared on the other side.  I cautiously entered the room to this former ministry.  No longer viewing it as a stepping-stone to something more, I realized I had stepped into my passion.

Not to speak, but to serve.  

Daydreams of larger venues no longer occupy my time.  Well, not too much of my time. 🙂

But, I wonder, what if my talent is a two, and not a five?  I think I am okay with this. Two’s are special too.

Actually two has something that five doesn’t always afford.  And that is intimacy. A smaller setting has the advantage to fully invest in each individual.  Interestingly, my heart explodes with passion for these few here.  Hmm.

In the end, I hope to hear the words spoken to the two-talent individual in the parable–

“Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master’s happiness!”

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The Pitfalls of Life

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There was a seed in my seedless orange that inspired the senseless discouragement.

Acidic thoughts rambled in my mind at the unfairness of it all.

How dare the packaging promise seedless, when it was obvious they were mistaken.  Now what?  Hardly likely I’ll buy from this manufacturer again.

Seriously, am I any different when I encounter discouragement–when faith in Jesus promises that I’ll be without struggle.

At least that’s what the television evangelists promise.  Prosperity.  Trust in Jesus and life will be amazing.  Free from pain.  Free from struggle.  Free from hurt.  Free from discouragement.  You get the picture.

No pits in the fruitfulness of life.  

Well, that’s hardly the truth.  Unfortunately, that is how seeds of doubt creep into our souls and choke out the truth of it all.

A look back over the last few years shows evidence of pits–

One daughter’s accident, who miraculously survived without a scratch, as her vehicle hung suspended mid-air by the grip of a guard rail–which kept her from flying over and into a deep ravine–undeniably, this piece of metal saved her from absolute death.

Or the close call with the brush of death of another daughter by her suicide attempt, in a dark parking lot, one dark, distraught night.

Then, there was the discovery that my past was riddled with sexual abuse,  which I’m only now fully comprehending.

Also, the setbacks and lawsuits which caused us to lose all our financial stability over the last ten years, and are only now crawling out of the financial hole.

And, hubby and his illness.

Life can be exhausting.

Still, Jesus never promised life free of pits, or without pitfalls.  

Joseph and Jeremiah can attest to this as they were literally dumped into the pit.

But, what I’ve discovered is this–

He promises prosperity in the pitfalls of life if we just reach out and take hold of Him.  

I ate my orange and have enjoyed the ever-sweetness of another, and another, and another.