Filling Up with Avoidance

Apparently, red wine therapy seems no longer as effective. It used to be a glass would nearly knock me off my feet if not sipped slowly over several hours. Now, I can take down two glasses in the same duration, and still stay somewhat composed.

Add to that, I’m up three pounds. Okay, three pounds in the last month. I’m actually up more like 13. Yes, a baker’s dozen. Not necessarily a big deal in the scheme of my current landscape of life, but, four weeks ago, the doctor prescribed me the miracle thyroid drug, and the scale should decrease, and not increase.

So, I’m going to take some John the Baptist prescriptive advice, and avoid alcohol for awhile.

So I will decrease, and no longer increase.

I’m quoting, paraphrased of course, a passage from John 3:30 when John says, “He must increase, but I must decrease,” which has more to do with John becoming less so God would become greater, and not necessarily by measures of alcohol, even though he did omit from alcoholic beverage…

Seriously, at times I feel overwhelmed, especially at night. And, to shut off the concerns of Bill’s cancer and the unsteady terrain ahead, sometimes it is best done by way of Cabernet at night, along with daytime avoidance techniques such as shopping, cleaning, running, etc.

None are necessarily bad on their own, but I feel this is an avoidance technique to turn off emotional turmoil, instead of taking hold with an even tighter grip to the only One who can calm me from within.

This could be an accountability piece for myself, but, it had me wondering all the same how often do we turn to something instead of someone, namely Jesus, to avoid heartache, pain and fear, instead of embracing His Presence with our upset?

A couple days ago I had my competing liquid beverage of choice, the cappuccino, with a friend. During our time together, I kept feeling the tear duct wanting to let go of restraint by way of tear betrayal.  But, I managed to keep them under wraps in favor of dry eyes.

Well, enough already.

Emotional avoidance is unhealthy.

It seems writing is the one release that’s helping me to deal head-on with my emotions. That, and this morning while running, when these thoughts were running faster still in my mind, I felt God’s nudge to share you.  Maybe, just maybe, I am not the only one out there struggling with emotional avoidance issues.

Anyway, enough for now. Love to you!

Awestruck by our Great God,

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