Death Threw an Unexpected Curve Ball

I want to tell you about my dad needing to go to ER, feeling anxious to be comforted by you, only to realize you are not able to comfort me. I feel so alone without you.  Watching you breathe, knowing you won’t be able to take care of my hurts with a mere hug.

My dad died last night.

The evening already had its challenges.  Bill’s breathing was erratic.  He was unsettled.  At times like this, I lay there and listen as an invisible anxiety barometer escalates my pulse with each breath.

Somehow, my body gave way to sleep.

A text arrived that startled me awake.  It was from my sister.  Just three words:

He is gone.

I caressed Bill’s hand as I told him about my dad.  I know he heard me even though his eyes remain closed.

I told him my crazy thought that maybe my dad wanted to be there with his dad, side by side, to welcome Bill home.

I take comfort in this thought.

Bill is near the very end of this horrendous battle.  A long battle that has caused so much pain.

I hear the words play in my head all morning of a song by Mercy Me, titled, “Finally Home”

I’m gonna wrap my arms around my daddy’s neck, and tell him that I’ve missed him. And tell him all about the man that I became, and hope that it pleased him. There’s so much I want to say,

There’s so much I want you to know.

When I finally make it home.

When I finally make it home.

Then I’ll gaze upon the throne of the King, frozen in my steps. And all the questions that I swore I would ask, words just won’t come yet. So amazed at what I’ve seen! So much more than this old mind can hold.

When I finally make it home.

I take comfort in him being home with His Savior.

Thank you for your continued love, encouragement, and prayers for us.

4 thoughts on “Death Threw an Unexpected Curve Ball

  1. Dear Josie. You probably don’t remember me or my husband. We went to high school and college with Lori. I spent a few days and nights on Elizabrh Lake with the Barone family having great times. We have had Bily and the whole family in our thoughts and prayers for a long time. That will not change. We are a catholic family and long time friends even if we don’t see each other all the time we still care. Billy was one of the funniest, sweetest person I’ve ever met. Please know he will be missed forever.

    • Thank you so much for your words and your prayers throughout this journey. He definitely will be missed by many.

  2. Oh my sweet friend, Josie! I am so sad; I weep with you. I pray for you, and send my love! May God hold you in his hands, and may you feel Hus strength.

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