My Measly Offering is Enough

(Day 167) Journal Entry:  October 23, 2017

I don’t have passion. If I did, I wouldn’t be sitting in the lukewarm water,waiting for time to pass this hopeless feeling that’s refusing to leave.

So I move onto purpose, because if I have meaning, then passion will be the side-car of my endeavors.

11:09am.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

I listen to the rhythm of one second at a time passing on the wall.

But purpose seems to not find a place to take hold, and it slowly goes down the drain with the sudsy water.

So I look inside to my conscious, where I mostly reside these days, and ask her a question, or maybe a petition to God above:

Is it Okay to do nothing?

If the only thing I do today is offer praise to you, maybe even selfishly on my behalf to keep my head afloat, is this measly offering enough?

Be still Josie.

And know. 

God.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

An audible exclamation exits into the still air:

Oh, how I love You Lord.

Tears accompany the water down the drain.

Yes, this is enough.

IMG_0490.JPG

Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, “The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all!” (Luke 21:1-4)

MY HUSBAND AND BEST FRIEND, BILL BARONE, PASSED AWAY FROM A LONG FIGHT AGAINST CANCER ON APRIL 29, 2017, AT PRECISELY 4:29AM. THE DISEASE TEMPORARILY WON OUT HERE ON THIS PLANET, BUT SINCE HIS ULTIMATE RESIDENCE IS IN HEAVEN, I AM CERTAIN HE WON OUT.  
THESE WRITINGS ARE A YEAR-LONG COMMITMENT TO FIND MY WAY OUT OF THE DARKNESS FROM HIS DEPARTURE. 
EACH ENTRY IS MARKED WITH A DAY AND A DATE.  THE FIRST OFFICIAL ENTRY WAS ON MAY 9, 2017. 
Advertisements

2 thoughts on “My Measly Offering is Enough

  1. Hi thanks so much for sending this. I do really like to read your posts. How are you doing? I enjoyed so much spending time with you and the girls. Aubrey has a great sense of humor. I really like that you started this journey, journaling and keeping track daily. This has got to be cathartic for you and I bet if you publish it, it will help others going through similar situations. I know it helps me but usually I wish I could help take away or ease your pain. Just know I am always thinking about you sending all my love. Take care, Denise

    • I don’t know my blog site takes so long to notify me of a message…I appreciate you and our brief time together. I think of you often, and hope one day maybe you could come out and spend a couple days together. Love you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s